bebong in denial

one day ( in very rainy day...) i went to see this tarot reader..i don`t know why i came..but something inside lead me to her... and just try my luck....

not all the prophecies rite...it`s up to me to change it..if i want to....

so anyway, as i entered the little space on the corner of this cafe...she started to asked me to pick 5 card placed in row ( vertically ) and in the 3rd row i have to say the name who `s on my mind...( just say it by heart ) and as she started to make this prophecies and she`s saying in the most wise appereance ...she said ..i could never forget the one i love...and it`s always coming back to him....and it works the other way around....

my love for him is given by my creator...GOD AL MIGHTY...i could only change it but it takes more effort than i already done....

and it got me all think....i don`t have the energy rite now..i tried to make it better...i tried to be friend ...i tried everything that allow me to far away at his distance.....and now all i have to say...

i`m tired...living my life in denial....i deny myself for 8 years..that no body has the same amount of perfection as he is...as i treat him my greatest kind of man...close to perfection...

how my 3 weeks romance can change it....GOD give the condition that i could never imagine....and i could never refused.

if...he`s the one....so be it....i could only wish...he knew how i feel..

seharusnya

seharusnya ciuman pipi ga mendarat...pikapiki apalah itu....tetep ajah ga boleh..mau dibilang cuma friendship kiss...tetap itu udah menganggu.

seharusnya....ajakan ketemuan di toilet itu juga ga harus dijabanin....ngapain yaa ketemu di toilet..hanya buang2x air seni....masa pake janjian...

seharusnya....dengan sangat sadar udah bukan gue lagi yg kasi tao dia..betapa sengsaranya geu..gara2x kelakuan dia yang samasekali kurang canggih memainkan hati perempuan....

seharusnya...dia tau...cincin ditangannya udah cukup bilang semuanya..dan dia sadar apapun aksi yang dia lakukan merugikan pihak2x lain....

tapi dari semuanya....seharusnya geu ga usah kenal sma dia dari awal....